i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
