the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
