And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
