I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
