She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
two words...techno handjob
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
