Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
