I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
