Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My life is pants optional.
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