porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
