it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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