he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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