I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
