so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
