She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Randomize
