It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
