so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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