like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
