she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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