I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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