rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize