Small penises have feelings too.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
