I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
