It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
