I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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