need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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