you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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