I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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