I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
What a dumb baby whore.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
