Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
