i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
