Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think your dad took our porno
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
