Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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