Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
