I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
