Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
