I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
