I'm drive I can fine osifer
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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