he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
