Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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