the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
