It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
