All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
