Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
