I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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