He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
