Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
