so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
