I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
