Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
