If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All I want is dick and wine.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
