Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
