i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize