Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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