i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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