just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
