She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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